“What You Are REALLY Arguing About” is an e-Book I wrote explaining the most common problems I’ve seen over the last 10 years of working with hundreds of couples. It also describes the 3 most important areas I’m always looking at that are crucial for a happy, successful relationship: whether or not you feel loved/cared about, whether the trust/commitment aspect of your relationship is strong and whether or not you feel accepted as you are/free to be yourself as well as respected.
“What You Are REALLY Arguing About” contains my Relationship Assessment Form, an informal diagnostic tool I created to quickly identify your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses. I use this simple form in the first session with a couple and throughout the coaching process in order to strengthen the relationhip.
Many of the couples I’ve worked with over the years have been helped in just a few sessions using the Relationship Assessment form. (Depending on what you are struggling with, and the level of distress in your relationship, most couples need at least 3 counseling sessions to see vast improvement).
“What You Are REALLY Arguing About” shows you the type of information I would get from you and your partner in a first session. Using this book will enable you to pinpoint the exact areas of your relationship that need the most work. Also included are detailed explanations of how to begin improving your relationship immediately, as well as a list of the best resources available to further assist you.
“What You Are REALLY Arguing About” includes important information on the differences between men and women which often get in the way of feeling loved and accepted. Once you understand these differences and learn how to embrace them, your relationship will feel much better.
included is information on effectively standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, becoming more accepting of your partner, and what to do if your partner is verbally or physically abusive.
My hope is that this e-Book will help you think about your relationship complaints, concerns, and issues in a whole new way.
What People are Saying about
“What You Are REALLY Arguing About”
Barbi, I read your book and I enjoyed it. Learning a lot.” – Client K.A.
“I ordered and read your e-book and was able to connect to it. A few things stood out to me: the fact that conflict free marriages are possible, men generally supress their feelings, and no man wants to be married to his mother.” – Reader in San Diego, Joe P.
“Your assessment is great. Impressive.” – San Diego Couples Therapist Jamie Engwer, LMFT
“Ms. Kolski is an excellent communicator. I have experienced her skills first-hand and recommend her book and her counsel to all my patients.” – Dr. Micah Lissy, Detroit Medical Center
“Last week was a very tough week with my boyfriend and I. Finding out about your first book was a gift from God. I know after reading the first 2 pages that you have my full attention. Thank you for sharing your book with me.”- Reader in San Diego, Connie V.
“Barbi, this is fantastic. I am riveted. I think all your points are right on, especially the part about women needing to tell men what they want instead of expecting them to ‘just know.’ Your work is so interesting and your examples were great.” – Reader in Chicago, Michelle B.
“Your book is great! You have advice that can make healthy relationships even stronger and prevent problems down the road.” – Dr. Michael Preziosi, UCSD
“Your book did a fantastic job of helping me organize and express my thoughts and feelings (not something that I have ever done well before). I feel it has definitely made the sessions with our counselor and my wife more productive from my perspective. Thank you for that tool and your aid.” – Reader in San Diego, Jim G.
“I’m very impressed! Your book is well written, clearly thought out, and offers a lot of great resources.” – San Diego Therapist Dani Graziano, LMFT